Ruby went outside and stared for a while. It was a bright day and Kolkata was waking up. She had seen most things already now. She just wished that she could walk out and not come back.
She walked out and switched on her mp3, she was beginning to recover somehow.
The beats started playing in slow motion as she boarded the taxi.
There was a new life to be had, to be seen and she was the one who had to live it.
A/N: I cannot write, I just can’t. Am sorry, I do not have any ideas anything. I just, I have been crying since morning and I have no sense of emotions so please spare me the “it’s too short” comments. I might be doing a Marquez post today
Ruby zoned out as the panorama passed by her with amazing velocity. If she were a dogs she would have liked to put her tongue out the window but, she could not now. So, she just looked out as the taxi, a passing yellow color on the darkened streets ran through the place. Kolkata, The city of joy seemed to be blurring away as the cab caught speed. it was a piece of old architecture along with the city itself. The new cars were everywhere, all from the airport, ferrying passengers to their respective places. She was the only one in the taxi that looked so old.
She looked at the driver for a moment and then lowered her eyes. She did not wish to talk, she just wished to go back now. She felt that she had been wrong all along, and that a small phone call might still repair their relationship. Still, she did not know how to apologise.
“We’re here ma’am .”
The driver’s voice roused her from her stupor and she hurried outside. The people helped her with her luggage and there she was. A nice hotel at the heart of an old city with thoughts of a person she had left behind by miles and miles. She wished that she could cry more.
She ;looked out of the window and saw the first semblance of morning light. The various people started working in the street. The hawkers set up their shop and the cars whirred away lost in their own thoughts. They did not care that a woman was sad in the hotel.
The hotel boy gave her some provisions and then again she was alone.
“Ma’am if you need anything, please give me a call.” The 20 something boy had told her
Well she did need someone but, she was unavailable in here. He was so far away. Why did sorrow hit her when she thought that she had gotten over it? She did not know.
She started planning out her holiday. They had included so many things in her package and she could go to all these places. She watched the swirling lines and words she had written on notebooks, it made her feel safer. She had a plan this time, and nothing could go wrong.
She started crying again, the thoughts were plaguing her mind at the time. She could not escape them no matter how hard she tried. it was like everyone had come together to hurt her. And they would do so too, no matter how hard she tried to redeem herself. it was all in the plan she did not understand. She wished that she could mourn.
The cacophony on the street continued. Some lady across the street shouted curses at her husband as Ruby buried her face in the pillows. This was not an escape. it was just another more elaborately designed cage made to cause her sorrow. To remind her that she had left behind one of the few people who ever loved her true.
“Ma’am your plane is that way.”
Ruby did not want to get away this bad. She was mulling over the thought even while standing in line at the airport. it had all happened so fast and now she was going on a journey to the unknown. It was possibly the greatest thing that could happen to her at this point. It made her feel like she was some princess going on a vacation. Everything working through, every rhythm falling onto the perfect beat. it made her feel special.
When she was young she would often wonder how the princesses were treated by the people. She would imagine the expansive places and think of how the people would worship her. She would imagine the plethora of men who would court her. The belle of the town who would dance like she was the only person in the world who mattered. She had wanted to be that way for as long as she remembered.
“Why are you doing this to yourself Ruby?” Kara had asked her.
Ruby had smiled and walked away. That music had stopped playing in her life ever since the moment that Louise had let. She was running away now, and if she stopped and looked back, everything may just fall apart again.
The plane lifted off, and she felt nauseous. She looked at the people around her. A woman was trying to make sense of all the things around her in the seat before her. beside her a bald man peered over the porn magazine with an interest that would rival a teenage boys. Her eyes fixated on a couple though. They were just beside her. the woman lay her head softly on the guy’s shoulder and the guy looked at her as if she was the most important thing in the world. Ruby wished that she would have that someday, but, right now she did not have any time for dealing with all that.
She was going away, onto India. Trying to find an identity like Roberts did in “Eat,Pray, love”, the only difference would be that she would avoid all men religiously. What had they ever brought her except heartbreak and pain anyway. it made her feel sadder every time she thought of it. Louise, dear old Louise was busy in his own world. Away from her, oblivious to the pain that he had caused. He would not care either. Even if she had gone to his home and told him how she felt. Told him how the glass panes had shattered in pressure, and how the blood had leapt like the fires of hell. He would just laugh and think that it was some sort of rambling from a mad ex. He could not possibly miss her. He could not possibly.
“Would you like some food ma’am?”
“Can I have one of your sandwiches?”
Ruby looked out the window, past the bald man who sat beside her.
The clouds flew away with a great velocity, a remnant of the life that she was leaving behind.
A remnant of the way her heart raced when she thought of Louise