Losing Love

The cafe date had been the worst thing for them. Even Ruby knew that walking away from him as he apologized was probably a dick move. But, then again she had no other reaction in reserve. She had been counting on him to leave her then and there. To stop all the hurt and make it all stop at once. Still he persisted in being the person who always has the upper hand. it irked her so. Why should he be the better person always? Could he not understand and comprehend what the things meant really? It made her angry that he had not been the one that walked away and.
Now, she was here, standing in a place that she did not entirely know, trying to hide from a person who did not deserve to know her. She tried to think of the various reasons she had for running away, and seriously, there were none that could measure up. Louise was there, in front of the apartment and she had run away like a coward because she did not wish to face responsibility.
The old piano tune kept playing on her mobile from time to time but, she did not care. She stood there, in a street trying to figure out what had happened.
“Why don’t you leave me Louise?”
She texted him while she was drunk, hoping he would get the message.
“Because I love you, I really do.”
He had always been sweet but, lately it seemed that even that was false. it seemed like he was part of some cruel prank that would be revealed any other day. And she felt so helpless. She could tell him that probably.
“I cannot love you back anymore Louise, not that way you love me.”
That was a long text, she hoped that he would not reply because he would think over it. However, the reply had been quick.
“That is why I love you Ruby, because you care.”
Ruby felt like she was stuck in some end of the line romance. Why could not Louise just let her go?
She was the worst kind of human being to fall in love with. She was incorrigible and wrong. She was all kinds of stupid. And moreover she would not know true love if it stared her in the face and demanded to be felt. She would just make excuses to make it all go away.
Another ring, the piano played the melancholy tune and everything seemed to melt by her. How would her house look now? it would look like it had been plundered perhaps. And she could not help it. She could not help the fact that she had forgotten the lock the front door. She could not make up for the fact that she had for whatever reason left the home without taking her favourite handbag.
She remarked back on that, life had a weird way of getting back didn’t it? it was the only gift from Louise that had stayed with her. The gift that she adored the most would lie carelessly on the floor now, bereft of her phone which she had carefully taken out. Now, it would be being investigated by the guy she had stood up who would try to find some reason to all this. He would try to make sense of all this and then would give up. it would possibly be a sad day today for him, a sad day indeed.
Ruby looked back and saw her best friend come at her.
“Louise called, and knowing you I came in here. Still do not recognise it do you?”
Ruby nodded before she hugged Kara. She wished to break down but, the tears just won’t leave her face. She felt like something was preventing her from emoting herself.
Kara patted her on the back and then looked at her with a smile on her face.
“Are you going to hurt him Ruby?”
“Yes, i have to.”
Kara sighed, she knew this would happen. Ruby was not a person who gave up on a relationship easily, but, they did not largely make sense to her. to her they were things she could not bring together and sooner or later she would leave the guy standing at her doorstep. She had tried to reach her as fast as she could. She needed to make her change for today.
“you love him don’t you?”
Ruby looked at her for a moment before turning away.
Kara held her hand and pulled her through the street. The place seemed to be deserted at the clack of Kara’s heels were all you could hear except for Ruby’s sobs. Kara tried to make sense of all these stuff. She knew that it had started because Ruby had went out of her wedding. But, now it was bigger because Ruby was worse than what she had ever been before. She was sadder than she was ever before.
When they sat down inside a park, Kara looked at her friend again. It had not been long since she had seen her. She had been jealous of her then, it was a vain jealousy of course, because somehow she was still hurt because her best friend had left midway before her wedding was completed. Still, she had been stupid and now she repented that.
“He called the police you know?”
Ruby smiled a little. “Really?”
“Yes, he is crazy.”
They both looked at each other and then turned away. Kara was laughing because she knew John would do the exact same thing and Ruby was laughing because she knew that she had found love and she had to let go. Only because she could not deal with it in any way she knew. It made her feel insignificant. It made her feel like she did not matter in the wholeness of the things.
“You should tell him Ruby.”
“I know, I just don’t know if it’s right.”
“It is never right Ruby but, you are more precious to me than he could ever be.”
Ruby sighed and dialed the number. It was going away at last. The sick and anxious feelings.


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