Cures for being a Cunt

Louise would have liked to paint #takeacompliment on his face whenever he talked to Ruby. He could not blame her though, he had an odd habit of falling in love with every girl he called beautiful. Ruby would know that, she was his shoulder to cry on whenever those girls inevitably broke up with him. Not that he was the cause for the break up on most occasions.

“I was just trying to compliment you.”

Good idea Louise, and the shark was trying to kiss that human being when it ate his foot.

“Sorry Louise i just cannot do this alright?”

“Oh come on, I haven’t even asked you out yet, you cannot reject future relationships.”

“Am not rejecting future relationships, am taking preventive measures.”

Ok, that was a low blow, even for Ruby. yes, Louise in love was a medium to highly dangerous creature who could become quite violent. In fact he sometimes even resembled a rabid dog with the froth in his mouth, with his completely enamored way of looking at things. He was possessive as hell, and something told Ruby that in his clinginess he resembled a child who had not yet been taken off his mother’s milk.

But, no she could not let it happen.

“You are kind of a cunt you know.” Louise said earnestly.

“I know, and there is no cure for it.”

Now, you see if I was writing a rom-com screenplay, the characters would have broken into song in here. but, am not writing a rom-com screenplay and frankly Ruby is staring at me from the next room holding a shoe in her hand and she wants to take my head off. Of course she is my character and it would be very rude for her to do that (not to mention illegal in some countries). So, i would propose something quite radical.

“You cannot quote the lord of tits and wine without context.”

“I shall quote whoever I want whenever I want.”

“What if I say love is the cure?”

Ok seriously, that is corny as hell Louise, i mean seriously dude?

“Thanks, weird guy in the sky.” Ruby said looking up at me.

Don’t thank me, accept him as a lover and see if your lord was right. I mean I know narrators are not supposed to participate in this shit but, dude.



This was of course a reference to TFIOS, and I looked down the both of them and tried to smite then remembering I had as much relevance as any other tangible entity in their thoughts.

“We will give it a shot.” Louise said


Discalimer : Am sorry, am so so sorry


8 thoughts on “Cures for being a Cunt

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